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    tuucker:

    irisowl:

    So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized

    Dr. Robert Evans

    I looked it up

    My dentist is Captain America’s dad

    My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.

    JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.

    hallelujah-youngandloaded:

    actualucifer:

    actualucifer:

    my neighbours kept coming up to me and going “we need a special greeting!” so i entered it as “hail Satan” and now they say “hail Satan” every time they see me

    guys can we just
    this is animal crossing
    i put that in the tags but nobody is reblogging with tags and i’m worried that everyone actually thinks i live on a street where people yell HAIL SATAN at each other

    well you certainly live up to your url

    (Source: luciforeal)

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